No More!

Well, at least no more detectable cancer. I still have the 7 day blast of chemo before my stem cell transplant, but with a clean PET scan I'm praying that means God will let this part of my life lay down and DIE! -.0 Praying for home by January and giving proper hugs by February =)

What have I been doing all this time? Really nothing. Watching movies. But I'm finally starting to read again and my friend Ben gave me the entire Dark Tower series which is improving with each book. Excited to get to the end.

I've also been drawing/learning when I can and when my arm shake from chemo. You can see what I've been working on here.

I've also been working on me stories, so hopefully I'll be able to show some of that fruit in the future. As of now it's all scattered and in varying stages of embarrassment. =) But here's some older shorter stuff. This is something I wrote with Kristen Sieger at some really awesome restaurant/cafe before leaving for SoKo. Who wrote which part??!?!?!

"we just matched
a paring knife lodged between
the pages of this book
Twice I thought about a
kind of pinkish goo
and all the shapes we used to make
while sifting through the poo.
The happy children couldn't know
our tale of tearful woes
and throw our smiles into fires
burning without tire

Burning Pyres of tire
fires mired the squires with their
lyers and processional fanfare;
abandoned to be a feast for the
roaming wild dogs of the lowlands
we made our way towards home,
towards solace
A fierce dispute against mother
and child, a fallen resolve against
mother and nature.
Now I don't know where my
mind is going. Once it starts
the words keep flowing."

I'll give you a hint - she wrote all the good stuff =) The rest is assorted things. LBBoS and random.

"What is it about Death"

"I am the chill
that brings you to life
The harsh air outside of her womb
I will break you
I will raise you up, so that when you fall
you will cry longer

You will grow. I will not.
You man learn, you may prepare;
I will never stop coming.

You cannot defy me, you never will.
You may try, and when I'm not looking,
find some measure of peace.

Know that I will never turn away.
For I love you. Eternally.

I will break you."

"Empty. Hollow. These are not the qualities of encouragement, nor the good company of hope. If doubt, fear, and a trail of tears stand center stage, tragedy is found at the ticket booth.

"It controls you. It tightens your muscles in spasm as if steeled for a fight. It takes hold on the reigns of your nerves and heels you like a dog to wait for battle.

But you are alone."

I wrote this sitting on my window cill, while packing to come home early from SoKo. It's not very well written, but the memory it reminds me of... is special.

"The sun is frozen in the sky behind a think horizon wide cloud made black from the light behind it. Hovering over the rooftops on the other side of town sits a line of nondescript mountain tops stretching on until a high rise blocks it's view. Beckoning the sun to rest from a long days work, the mountains offer the sun a place to rest it's light for a while.

Slowly, as the cold air drops degrees of degrees, so does the sun. It finally falls beneath it's clouds, separating it's now orange flow from the sky blue above. It seems to quicken it's descent, eager to rest. Eager to say goodbye. A tired old man seeking the rest offered by the mountains.

Soon enough, the sun is gone. It's memory remains for a while in the sky; enough to care for a few more minutes. The sun is gone now. It leaves us in darkness with no promise of return, and the dark winter night begins to get colder."

"I really like fat. Cheese, butter, eggs, bacon. Delicious."


Mona T said...

So good to see you today Jhaysonn! Hoping things go well with the transplant and that you continue to stay healthy! Also-it was great to see you with a great head of hair! Happy New Year, and may great things come for you in 2011!

Jhaysonn said...

Agreed on all accounts =). It was a pleasant surprise to see you again. Hopefully in a few months I'll be able to give people proper hugs!

Do you know what your specialty is going to be? Or still deciding? It's hard for me to remember how long it's been since I was on the 8th floor, but I definitely don't remember how long you spend in each area.

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